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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Hillary says Memphis National Champ Despite KU Having More Points

In a move that's sure to be seen as controversial, Hillary has contacted the NCAA Board of Directors to argue that Memphis is actually better qualified to be National Champion.

Ms. Clinton stated that Memphis, while losing the game, had actually shown more ability to act like a National Champion on Day One. She argued that Memphis had passed every test during the game, including scoring more points than Kansas for 38 minutes. For 38 minutes they had shown the experience necessary to be National Champion. "Just because some team comes along in the last minute and scores more points than the other guy doesn't mean they're necessarily able to be National Champion on Day One."

Ms. Clinton further stated that Memphis should've won the game had Derrick Rose's second half three pointer been allowed to count. Instead, it was ruled a two after review by the officials. His foot was clearly inside the line. Memphis coach John Calipari said he would ask that the rule allowing monitor review of shots be changed after this season. Hillary said she seconded that, and pointed out had Memphis been allowed to count a three that wasn't really a three they would've won. "It doesn't matter what the rules of the game are before it starts. What matters is how we change the rules after the game so we can have the winner we want."

Kansas, for its part, had this to say to Hillary: "Barack Chalk Jayhawk!"

Congratulations Jayhawks! National Champions!

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Chris said...

Its a 40 minute game Hilary, not a 38 minute one. We had more points after 40 then them therefore we win. If we played games your way the score would be irrelevant and taking out replay so you cant go back and confirm the CORRECT call? Thats jut stupid. It sounds to me like you condone cheating, you don't take things away from the game that make them more fair.

Drop out of the race now!

Rock Chalk Jayhawk!!!!

Anonymous said...

satire - noun: the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices.

Anonymous said...

I am probably the biggest Memphis fan there is, but I also believe this is the most ridiculous thing that could have been said about the game. Yes, most people believe that we were/ are the better team or more qualified, but it comes down to who can prove it within regulation time for ONE game. It has always been that way, and will always be that way. Congrats to the Jayhawks (I won't argue they are not an excellent team), but Memphis let this one slide. However Memphis does NOT need your pity Hilary, everyone can see that we are a great team and deserved to be in the championship. I would have liked to win, but no one in this country can say that the Memphis tigers did not have what it takes to get the title. Thanks anyway, but no thanks.

Brian said...

Folks, Hillary may be kooky but it's pretty obvious she didn't actually say this. It's a hilarious post that pokes fun at the fact that Sen. Clinton cannot recognize defeat when it's staring her in the face.

Anonymous said...

Ya think????

Anonymous said...

Seems reminiscent of the Bush/Gore election as well...

Next thing you know the Clintons are going to take every "K" and "U" keys off the computers in the white house like they did with the "W" keys in 2000.

Oh wait, they don't have access to the white house computers anymore... Man that's nice to say.

Kasha said...

What's so great about this satire is that it sounds so authentic--so reasonable to assume Shrillary really said this nonsense. It is almost as ridiculous as what the Memphis coach said after losing to K.U. after the Jayhawks won the NCAA National Basketball championship. Ah, politics. Dontcha just love it?

Rock Chalk, Jayhawk, K. U.!!!

Icarus said...

Holy crap, people don't realize this is satire?!

HappyDae said...

The key word here is GAME. Unlike the so-called sports "journalists" who can only say "good job," I will award KU's team with "well played."

I don't see any incongruency with using the name Clinton with the phrase "Politics as Usual," however. Seems that is THEIR game.

Look at the records of the teams and the stats on the players and you can often predict who will win.

In an election, you SHOULD look at what the candidate has done (the record) for the nation and how it agrees with what is promised/proposed. IF folks vote based on what the candidate has contributed to this country, then the records should predict the winner. But what makes politics unpredictable is that many voters prefer appearance to performance and slogans to wisdom.

You shouldn't be able to win a game with the best looking uniform or the best cheers.

I hope in this year's election that America emerges the winner.

Happy Dae.

Anonymous said...

I would really like to know why the hell Hilary Clinton is commenting on college ball anyways! Shouldn't she be figuring out how to save her campaign? And KU did play like champions. Maybe we got behind in the second half, but where the hell was Memphis in those last two minutes or in overtime. What a bold thing to say from someone who clearly already makes shit up.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

PEOPLE: THIS IS A JOKE. IT IS NOT SERIOUS. USE YOUR DARN BRAINS!!!! Would a politician, even Hilary, EVER say something this outrageous? NO!!!!

(rock chalk.)

Anonymous said...

Hillary Clinton Fans Make 100 Anti-Obama Websites

Anonymous said...

Just like Hillary - Memphis had NO class. They were holding the ball through the net so they could get back on D multiple times!

Common, Jayhawks all the way!

Michael said...

Did Hillary even WATCH the game? Did she see that KU was ahead at halftime? I would say that not counting OT that KU controlled 22 minutes of the game and that Memphis controlled 18 minutes. She makes it sound like Memphis was blowing KU out the entire game until our comeback. Man, I'm REALLY glad that she was not elected president after reading this article. If she is this ignorant on sports, imagine how ignorant she would be on world issues. Dang.

Anonymous said...

Michael, Anyone who watched the KU-Memphis game knows that KU won fair a square, with Mario Chalmers' "Rainbow Shot" sending the game into OT and a definitive (but nailbiting) win by the Jayhawks. It was a Kodak Moment not soon to be forgotten.

Hillary knows as much about basketball, apparently, as she does about politics.

Rock on, 'Hawks!!!