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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Daily Show Video: GOP Wins When Terror Attacks

Stewart on McCain adviser saying a new terrorist attack would help McCain get elected:

Last summer John McCain's campaign was over, caput! done a fork had been placed. But in December a total campaign resurrection. McCain rose like a Phoenix, rising from.. he's actually from the Phoenix area. So what happened?

(cut to story about Bhutto's assassination)

The Bhutto Bump, if you will. That's where someone gets killed and you benefit. It's like how I was elected prom king.

McCain once again finds himself lagging in the polls. You'd like to think that his campaign could count on another foreign leader going down, but it's not a sure bet. McCain adviser Charlie Black, you're a human being. What do you think could help? Charlie Black thinks a new attack on America would be "a big advantage to John McCain."

Why is it that a terror attack helps Republicans? That's quite simple. A terror attack, when added to an election, equals Republican. Now, why is that. First we have to solve for R. If you add the 7 1/2 years of Republican administation times the five years that we have been at war which has divided the nation, add in the government's incompetent response to the domestic disaster Katrina minus the equity in your home that's disappeared plus the price of oil squared over the boon that the Iraq War has been to terrorist recruiting times torture minus the resources we could've been using in Afghanistan plus the resources we could've been using to capture Bin Laden, carry the Cheney...

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